Sex and Back Pain

“Sex and Back Pain” Is Back Pain Ruining Your Love Life? By Jerry Corners, MD Back pain and sex don't go together very well and if you or your partner are among the 35 million people who have back pain, you know that back pain can disrupt your relationship. Sex is an important part of the intimacy between couples, and attitudes about sex, about rejection and about our self-image when we don't feel up to a sexual encounter can haunt a couple for a long time. Sex is supposed to be pleasurable for both of you and the fear of hurting yourself or your partner inhibits the spontaneous joy that you probably felt before your back pain developed. But what can you do about it? Most couples in which one or the other is restricted by back pain will eventually get around to realizing that back pain does not automatically mean no more sex. What it does mean is that you will need to make some accommodations to the pain and or the fear of it. It also means you will need to talk about sex in a slightly different way than you are used to. Let's back up for a second and begin with a very strong suggestion. Because pain has both a psychological component and a physical component, getting a sound diagnosis is critical to putting your mind at rest about what is wrong and secondly having a sound diagnosis will also give you guidelines for your physical limitations. Secondly, after you have the diagnosis, involve the doctor or physical therapist in a frank discussion about dos and don'ts. Maybe that's an uncomfortable subject for you, but these days we are talking more openly about sex and you should tap into the doctor's experience here. In a perfect world the doctor would open the discussion for you, but if they don't you may have to initiate it. Ideally your partner should be present because he or she will have his or her own questions and concerns. To start sex off right, start off with a massage, or ice down the painful area. A warm shower together might help too. That way the muscles are relaxed. Try These Positions Tonight... Here are some sexual positions that can help you enjoy a pain-free experience. For males: Lay on a firm surface and use pillows to support your knees and head. You might like to try placing a small rolled towel under your lower back. Try a side-by-side position. Place a pillow under your lower back while your partner straddles you on top. You can also sit in a sturdy chair instead of lying down. For females: Try missionary position with the legs bent toward the chest. Sit on the edge of a chair and have your partner kneel between your legs for entry. Rear entry may also be more comfortable for women with back pain. Try it kneeling on the bed or lying on your belly with a pillow under her chest. Sit on your partner's lap as he sits in a chair. Remember, the health of your back is dependent on many dynamic factors. Your symptoms may change over time so you may need to work with your health care provider from time to time as you go through the many stages of recovery. A word of caution is in order at this point. It is pretty common to begin feeling better and then overdo it and have your back pain symptoms flair up. We call this, the whoopee effect and it can happen to anyone. Just remember that as you improve gradually, so should your activity level also increase gradually. As I mentioned earlier pain has two parts. There is the physical part. This is the actual stimulation of the nerve, like a painful tooth or a herniated disc pressing on the nerve. And then there is the subjective or the psychological part. This is how it feels to you and includes, among other things, such attitudes as fear that it will get worse or last forever, what will it means to be chronically disabled, and what you believe your partner thinks about it as well as how you are coping with your condition. So, at the top of your agenda there needs to be a frank discussion of your pain limitations and expectations about sex. It is a mistake to believe that your partner understands what it feels like. It is your responsibility to communicate those limitations as clearly as possible; it is their responsibility to listen and try to understand. Pain, after all, is invisible and subjective. That means your pain is unique to you. We have heard people liken back pain to everything from a hot poker going down one or both legs to a chronic aching sensation localized to the lumbar area. It doesn't matter what words you use, just try to explain the pain, what causes it (position, certain movements, or whatever), and what feels good or is what is comfortable for you. Is it obvious that if it hurts, don't do it is generally good advice but some positions and techniques hurt more than others? It may require some gentle experimentation to find out what works but as in most sex advice, “gentle” is the best place to start. In terms of maximizing yours and your partner's sexual pleasure, it is very important to stress that all you really need is your imagination and the willingness to experiment to open up new areas of intimacy. But it all begins with willingness to try. And given that, you just may find that the lemon of back pain can be turned into the lemonade of new sources of mutual pleasure. How Great Would It Be If Your Pain Was Gone And The Romance Was Back? Do What These People Did To Regain Their Lives... "Drastic Improvements After Just One Week"  "There were days I could not move. The pain in my right leg and lower back was the WORST pain I had ever felt! I went to a chiropractor and it was decent at best, but it did not have any long-term relief. I discovered losethebackpain.com and I decided to order the product. I must say... that was THE best choice I had ever made. They are very friendly, helpful to your needs and you can even email them and they will respond to your specific questions! I tried the program, and after only one week I felt drastic improvements! I cannot say enough how impressed I am with their knowledge, product, and assistance. This IS the answer you've been looking for!" Matt Hansen ,  Phoenix, Arizona "I Felt Better The Very First Day!" "I must say that I took your DVD with some apprehension, but within a day....yes a day, I started to feel better. I have had back trouble since I was 14 years old from playing a lot of soccer. I am now 42. I have visited everyone from Physiotherapists to chiropractors.....Had all sorts of x-rays, no one helped me at all. It gets worse from time to time which is why I just visited a chiropractor here in Tennessee. 4 weeks with that guy gave me something I never had before.........Sciatica !! I felt better from the very next day using your system.... It has virtually gone now within 2 weeks. Thanks for everything, I'll recommend this to anyone. Always in your debt." Paul Hart - Morristown, Tennessee "The Pain Disappeared in Just 3 Days!"  "I had been suffering from Lower Back Pain (Slip Disc) for the past 9 years. During this period I was hospitalized quite a few times for back pain treatment. I went through different types of treatment like Physio therapy, Traction, Anti-Inflammatories, etc. After being totally frustrated and searching for cure I came across this web site “Losethebackpain” in Google search and this was the starting point of my recovery. I couldn’t believe myself that the shooting pain in my hip totally disappeared in just 3 days After going through the bad experiences for the past 9 years I was not totally convinced of the cure and was expecting for the pain to return any moment like it used to happen before. It’s over 4 months since starting these exercises and till date there is no sign of pain. My sincere advice to all Sciatic patients is to stop trying other treatments as they give only temporary relief. Just try this treatment and see the difference, you will be live and kicking again. My only regret is that I could not come across similar treatment 9 years before. Thanks to Steve Hefferon and Jesse Cannone we have the treatment available now." Mohammed Suhail Gamidi - Jeddah, Saudi Arabia "The Relief Was Immediate!" "I am a 70 year old retired Fire Chief from the Chicago Fire Department. I thought that I was going to have to go on with a sore hip and back for the rest of my life. After spending 34 years on the streets of Chicago, with it's harsh winters, that was a reasonable expectation. I received your system last Wednesday and started right away. The relief was immediate! I'm happy to report that your program worked just as I had hoped it would. Thanks for your direct and caring approach to resolving this painful problem. Last week I was ready to go shopping for a walking stick. Now I don't need one!" Bennie L. Crane - Chicago, Illinois Here Are The Exact Tools They Used To   Wipe Out Their Back Pain and Sciatica... Component #1: Lose the Back Pain™ VideosYour first step is to watch the videos... there are 2 videos and here's a quick explanation of what's covered on each: Video 1 - On the first video you'll learn all the details about muscle imbalances and how they are causing and contributing to your pain. Then we'll walk you thru the self assessments and help you pinpoint which physical dysfunctions you have and you'll quickly see how they are responsible for your pain. Video 2 - Once you've identified your dysfunctions, we then walk you through the corrective exercises, stretches and self treatments that are specific to your physical condition and are necessary in order for you to rebalance your body and eliminate your pain.     DVD and VHS Available Component #2: Lose the Back Pain™ Audio CD's In addition to the two videos, you'll also receive 3 audio CD's. Here's what's covered on the CD's: Audio CD 1 - How To Get the Best Results Using The System - On this first CD we explain in detail how to use the system and how to get relief as quickly as possible. Audio CD 2 - Strategies for Reducing and Managing Pain - On this CD you'll learn about more than a dozen strategies for reducing and effectively managing your pain while you also work on eliminating the underlying cause. Audio CD 3 - Condition Specific Recommendations - If you've been diagnosed with a specific condition, CD 3 will give you specific recommendations, techniques and treatments you may also want to consider. These recommendations are in addition to addressing your imbalances and are explained in great detail. Component #3: Lose the Back Pain™ Reference Manual Another vital part of the Lose the Back Pain System is the extensive reference manual. In addition to reviewing the information covered on the videos and audio CD's, it also covers several topics in much great detail. Plus, all of the corrective exercises, stretches and pain reduction strategies are included in the manual so you can easily take it with you so you'll never be wondering what you are supposed to be doing or if you are doing things.